I don’t know exactly how it happened, but my sweet baby boy is heading off to preschool tomorrow. I am dumbfounded by how quickly the first 3 years of his life have flown by, and anxious realizing how quickly the next years will inevitably fly by as well. Of course there are the moments when I can’t WAIT until he gets a little older, but I am quickly reminded of how brief the time we get with them at each stage, and to savor every moment.
Tonight I told my husband I wish we could freeze Rocco at this age. A perfect combination of innocence and curiosity, love and cuddliness, all mixed with the ever emerging personality of a little man who is funny, goofy, observant, caring, strong-willed, and decisive.
As you may already know from reading some of my articles, particularly My Birth Stories, you know that I struggle with anxiety. So I sat in bed tonight trying desperately to not think about all the horrific possibilities that could await my son at preschool tomorrow, and instead try to think about all the ways he will grow from this and take another step forward towards becoming the man he will one day be.
Enough with all that sappy stuff.
It would’ve been nice to have some guidance along the preschool selecting and school preparation processes. So, let me pass along what I’ve learned through the school of hard knocks.
They aren’t going to come find you.
Find out where other moms in your area sent their kids for preschool. Ask on Mom Facebook groups for preschool recommendations. Google map local preschools in your area. Then start researching. Go to the preschool’s websites and learn about the school, then contact the director with questions so you can start narrowing down your options.
We ended up choosing a Christian preschool because incorporating prayer, bible stories and concepts, Jesus, and overall morality was very important to us. That helped narrow down our search significantly.
Despite the fact that you’re paying them, they may not “sell” you their program.
After contacting and communicating with numerous schools, I found that some places were more sales-oriented, but others were far more laid back and borderline disorganized. Maybe that is for some people, but not for me. I want to be sold why I should send my child to your school. This is your child’s education, it matters.
If you don’t ask questions, you will get very little information.
I quickly learned that especially when meeting in person, if you don’t have questions prepared ahead of time, there may be a lot of crickets. I like to plan ahead, so I compiled a standard set of questions to ask every school so I could easily compare their answers to each other. Here is the list of questions I came up with that I felt were most relevant:
- What is your educational philosophy?
- What is the educational background and experience of the teachers and staff?
- What is the turnover rate for your teachers?
- How is information communicated to parents?
- How does the staff help children resolve conflicts?
- What are the discipline policies?
- How do you comfort children?
- What security measures do you have in place to ensure my child’s safety?
- What is the tuition?
- Does the school provide food? And if so, what is your nutritional approach?
- What does a typical daily schedule look like?
Everyone seems to think that coming in to meet and see the school is no big deal for a mom with two kids under 3. (Eye roll. Do you work with children?) But make the effort, it can change EVERYTHING.
My plan was to send out my list of questions to multiple schools, compare answers, and select a few schools and schedule meetings. I was surprised to get some resistance from a few of the schools, who preferred to discuss my questions in person when I came to visit the preschool. I wanted to tell them, I was using these questions as a weeding out policy, but figured it best not to say that. I usually just pushed back to see if they would answer my questions before a tour. It was mostly successful. So, if you have a plan and a reason for doing it the way you’re doing it, don’t let them derail you. Be confident. Your questions are reasonable and you deserve to know the answers if you’re going to willingly send your child to their school.
Ultimately, after seeing the schools and meeting with the directors, my preconceived perceptions of each preschool weren’t exactly accurate. My first pick ended up becoming my last choice. And a school that I didn’t have strong feelings one way or the other became the ideal place for us to send our son. So, even though I hate to admit it, try to visit the schools. If nothing more, seeing people in their own environment can tell you a lot about the person and the tone of the school.
Don’t procrastinate (like I did).
I waited until almost 2 weeks before school started to get back in touch with the preschools we were looking into. Some had put Rocco on a waitlist, others were just up in the air. I was fortunate to have 3 schools have availability in their classroom and was able to schedule in meetings and was able to make our selection quickly.
Even though it all worked out, there was no reason to be on pins and needles hoping we would get into ANY preschool, let alone the one we wanted.
Also, most (all) preschools want your child to be potty trained before starting school, so if you procrastinate and your kid isn’t potty trained yet, you will find yourselves in a whirlwind of soiled laundry, potty seats, and shit. So, don’t procrastinate.
You need to start thinking as your child’s advocate quickly.
In addition, to all the normal preschool screenings, meetings, and evaluations, we have the additional factor to consider, my son’s dairy allergy. I assumed that I could just follow the plan that the school had in place, because they’ve been in business dealing with this WAY longer than I have, so they must be better prepared, right?
Wrong. I found that schools are looking to the parents to determine what we are comfortable with, how to manage the allergy, and what precedents to set in the classroom. To drive this point even further home, following my son’s very first class, the teacher wanted to discuss with me a “bathroom mishap” that “cannot continue to happen” since it will “take away from instruction time.” Unfortunately, my sassy, sarcastic, and slightly annoyed part of my self tends not to show up right away, and instead I stood there and meekly took the beating from a teacher who looks like she’s younger than me. After mulling over the situation (and over and over) I realized that starting preschool for my son is just as much a new beginning for him as it is for me as well. I have never had a child in a school setting before, where the only person completely and entirely concerned about what is best for him, is me. Not his well intentioned teacher who is looking to make sure the other 11 students in the class also learn something. So, I decided it’s time to put on my big girl panties and remind her that I won’t be pushed around, I’m here to make sure my kid gets the best education/experience he can have, because if I don’t do it, who will?
Leave a Reply